Friday, May 08, 2009

First Aid and Frustration

Well, I passed my First Aid Class yesterday. With my CNA and Hospice Volunteering, it’s pretty old hat, but I try to keep my certification current by getting a class in once a year. I figure odds are good that one day I really will slip a cog and try to rough up one of my kids, so it’s good to know the latest techniques on how to revive ‘em and patch ‘em back up if I need to. So if you are unconscious, heat stroked, seizing, bleeding, broken, burned up, or have a Portuguese knitting mishap, I’m your girl!

I’ve been having…um…issues with my new work computer. My old one had had enough, coughed up a fur ball and died a couple of weeks ago. My new one is flashy and all that, but it doesn’t understand me like the old one did. It takes time to build a new relationship I guess. My main point of contention with it is that it second guesses and micro manages me. I hit print, hop up from my desk and trudge the 3 cubicles over to the printer and…nothin’. I trudge all the way back and I have a message…

’Are you sure you want to print? Really? ‘Cause even though, just seconds ago, you pushed the button indicating that you wanted to, and walked all the way over to the printer and stared at it expectantly for what, quite frankly, seemed like an eternity, I would think that by now you would be having second thoughts about paper usage and the environment so thought I’d better to double check…’

Sigh….Yes, HAL! You SAW me headed to the printer? And the printer, who I’ve always considered a good friend, is in cahoots it seems because it can SEE me coming…It's obvious I want SOMETHING, but it’s not gonna give it up until I go back and talk to his new BFF, the computer. They don’t even care that I can hear the tiny, digital snickers and giggles coming from both sides of the room. So I hit the button. AGAIN. And trudge on over to the printer. AGAIN. To get my print. FINALLY. And I can't do anything about it, because they didn't teach us any First Aid tips for patching up office equipment that has been pummeled relentlessly with a baseball bat.

I suppose the worst part of it all is that since HAL arrived on the scene, I’ve hit 'print' approximately eighteenthousandgabigagillion times [Calm down, Eco-Warriors, that’s only ninethousandgabigagillion copies. See ‘hitting the button twice for each copy’ above.) and I STILL don’t anticipate that it’s going to question my authority and that my print won’t be there. Sigh. I’m SO glad it’s Friday!

6 comments:

aaron browne said...

In my Navy days, we joked about "deep-six troubleshooting"... If a component wasn't working, one would throw it over the side. If it floated, it was working. If it sank, it was broken.

The other option was what we like to call "sledge-hammer troubleshooting". I'll leave that one up to your imagination.

Tell HAL to get in line, or I may have to come over and tell him a thing or two... :)

Lisa/knitnzu said...

can you turn that bad boy off???

Lisa/knitnzu said...

I mean the part that is the "assistant". I love Aaron's deep six troubleshooting... I should do some of that where I work.

Cindy G said...

Wow, I didn't know you were a CNA. One more cool thing about Ms B.

And, ahem, we got stuck with Vista, so either "I feel your pain" or "you get no sympathy from me". Haven't decided which.

Elizabeth said...

I hate computer program "features" that are supposed to make things better or more "user friendly" but actually just make things worse most of the time. And I hate having to learn to get along with newly "improved" technology when the old thing worked just fine for me.

Kathy Kathy Kathy said...

It's been like 12 years, but I still sometimes get up and go to the printer and wait before having pushed the "Yes, Dammit, Print the paper now, button." And don't even TRY to indent!