Wednesday, May 07, 2008

The One In Which Poking The Bear Bites Me In The Butt and Harriet Tries To Kill Me

I brought a bottle of water in to work yesterday. It's one of those square Fiji bottles. I bought it because:

1. We were filling up the car so I was at the station.
2. I'm trying to cut down on soda.
3. It was on sale.
4. I was thirsty

That was it. No big ulterior motives. Just a bottle of water. It seemed like such a simple thing.

One of my kids notices it and apparently has never heard of or seen Fiji water bottles before so he asks me what it is. I tell him. He asks why I got that kind. Thinking that it was an especially inane conversation... [Even within the parameters of our usual conversations around here. Just last week our debates included a 20 minute discussion on where that baby powder smell was coming from and an even longer discourse regarding which exact Star Wars film Anakin/Darth Vader lost his hand in. I thought I was going to have to get out the hose on that one! But I digress...] Anyway, I replied, "Because square water tastes better than round water." Yeah. I know. But sometimes I just have to poke the bear. It worked. Never make a statement like that to a scientist. First he paled noticeably and started to shake.Then I got a 15 minute lecture on the molecular properties of H2O. I figure I got off lucky since I suspect he had approximately six and a half more weeks of information on this subject in his big-giant-head, but I managed to divert his attention with something shiny before he really got going. Yeah. Sometimes poking the bear backfires a little.

I did some deck sitting last night, finishing up an awesome book, People of The Book by Geraldine Brooks. We have a magnificent library system here in South Central Wisconsin. I can go online and request any book from any of the surrounding libraries. The selection is huge! I think I can count the books I couldn't get through the system on one hand. Usually I want to read the most recent, popular books, so I go on a waiting list behind dozens of other people. When the book is finally available, I get an automated phone message telling me that the book is at my local library for pick up. The automated message is from (read this in a robotic tone) "Harriet, The Automated Library Voice". Usually I get a call every week or two as one book or another becomes available. I usually have 10-15 at a time on my waiting list in the system. But sometimes, like this last week, everything becomes available at once in a huge avalanche. I think Harriet is really trying to kill me this time. Last evening's phone message ended with a maniacally evil, HAL2000-type chuckle. I swear it's true. I've got so many books that I have put down the spinning wheel and knitting and have been reading until my eyes bleed. If I don't, I'm afraid that the stack of books on my bed side table will topple and crush me in the night. I made it though half of Ice Trap by Kitty Sewell last night. Another amazing read! Harriet may be trying to off me, but what a way to go!


MadCityMike said...

I just used the "request a book" for the very first time yesterday! Mine is Elizabeth Zimmerman's "Knitting Workshop". I want the pattern for the Baby Surprise Jacket that was shown on "Brooklyn Tweed's" last blog. I have the DVD but it isn't on it....I even wrote to Jared about "where is it on this DVD???" :)So....that problem solved.
Good luck with all of your reading!

Elizabeth said...

You are one funny lady. "Your kids" are lucky to have you. Imagine how dull their work days would be otherwise.

I used to get calls from a male voice (forgot his name, it's been so long) but I switched to emails about 10 years ago.

What happened to you happens to me with videos. Sign up for a bunch of new releases, wait 6 months, and 5 come in at once. When it rains, it pours.

peaknits said...

That darn square water'll get them crazy scientist types every time - haha! I love that pile of books - keep us posted on the ones you love - always love a new suggestion. Thank you for your comment about my sock singles - I never considered if I broke a leg or had an injury to one leg, I'd be good to go - food for thought!@:)

DPUTiger said...

1. Fiji actually uses square bottles because it's cheaper to ship. Less dead space in the boxes, etc.

2. I miss making time to read. I need to start doing that again. I do have a book weight. I should bust it out and start READING!

MadCityMike said...

Thanks for the offer of the pattern! If you'd like to send it, I'd be happy to have it. I doubt that I'll have too long of a wait for the book from the library, although....I'd be able to get started earlier on the jacket. I'm sorry to hear that it was such a "Surprise" for you.

Sus said...

Ah, young scientists... that's hilarious!! Thanks for that story!

MadCityMike said...

I thought the little email follow up box under the comment form would allow you to have my email address....found out that little option wasn't correct, so here is my email address:

MadCityMike said...

Molly Bee....I tried the email address you posted on my blog and it came back. I took out the "s", tried it, that came back. I hope you check out your comments, otherwise I will not be receiving the "Surprise" pattern from you!

knitnzu said...

I think I must go to bed, because when I first skimmed the beginning of your post, I thought you wrote, 'i'm trying to cut down on the vodka'! We have conversations like that around here ALL the time! Harriet's chuckle sounds scary! We can do that in our library system too, but people call us!

Kitty Mommy said...

I have been on email since we moved here, so I have never experienced Harriet. But I am SURE that there is someone at the clearing house that coordinates all the holds that amuses his/herself by coordinating huge piles of holds all at once!

dale-harriet said...

Oh I'm seriously worried. I haven't ordered a book from the library for some time, but when last I did, it was a MALE voice: "This is Harry, the Automated Library Voice" now I want to know what's the deal. Was Harry fired? Did he have a transgender change? Has he moved on to announcing at train depots (do they still do that?) Wow, talk about food for thought! I've just packed the Reading Tote for our trip; this is tough. But it's...(oh oh) 4:30 a.m. and I haven't packed my knitting yet. Good thing I can sleep in the car -- BETTER thing Mr Dearling loves to drive!

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