Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Muppet Guts and Toe Cleavage

I wore my new shoes to work today...er...well, I wore the right one anyway. They are cute little Airwalks ballet flats that I bought over the weekend. Comfy as sneakers, but more stylish (slightly). A new college-age intern at work stopped me and said that she liked them. I thanked her and told her where I got them. Then she said, and I quote, "I wish they were cut a little lower. They don't show any toe cleavage." WTF!?! Toe cleavage?!? People, for the love of God, don't keep making me learn this stuff on the street! Would it have killed one of ya'll to enlighten me on the importance of toe cleavage? With all of the other things, I, as a woman, have to worry about, now I have to be concerned about TOE CLEAVAGE?!? Oy! I'm too old to care, darn it! I've got more than ample cleavage topside (unfortunately) and at forty two years of age, it's rapidly approaching my toes so I'm just gonna go with that. Toe cleavage. Cripes.

I spent the weekend with my new buddy, Grover. He was aptly named as it turns out. Those turquoise streaks that I mistook for painted dye features in the purple, are actually some kind of crumbly, dryer-linty, cushion foamy hybrid that I can only assume is actual Muppet guts. It breaks into little bits and makes a brilliant accent to the yarn. It is not conducive, however, to spinning the thinnest yarn possible nor will it make good sock yarn, unless you enjoy picking blue Muppet Guts out of your 'toe cleavage' every time you wear them. I'll have to think of a higher, nobler purpose for ol' Grover. All suggestions welcome.

Well, I'd better scurry off to find some lunch. I'm wearing short sleeves so I'll be sure and keep my arms bent to show my elbow cleavage to it's best advantage in lunch line! (Wanders off looking at her new shoe and muttering to herself...toe cleavage.....sheesh....)

9 comments:

Kate said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!!! Now I know what the tykes at work are doing with their shoe shopping conversations. I was as in the dark as you on this one. Had I known....I too could have been too sexy for my shoes. Who'-da thunk it????

Kitty Mommy said...

*snort* So, I take it that toe cleavage is a good thing??t

Elizabeth said...

I personally don't like toe cleavage. I had some shoes that revealed a bit and my son just couldn't stop poking into that little visible cleft, tickling me and driving me NUTS! Maybe it's some genetic fascination that males of the species have for any little fold or crevice in any female?

Mel said...

I'd also never heard of it, but it sounds like a fetishist thing.

peaknits said...

I'm not into flashing any cleavage - specially that one! ugh - who even talks about that? This must be a young girl (crossing fingers, hoping I'm not over the hill and missing the boat here...) Grover, aw...apt - wicked apt!

knitnzu said...

"...rapidly approaching my toes..." so funny you! Have you seen this cartoon where some biker dude is standing at the bus stop with a very old woman, and his T-shirt says "show me your ttts", and she lifts the hem of her skirt? I have spent most of my life avoiding shoes that show "toe cleavage" (I had no idea it was called that). But it kind of reminds me of quadriboob... something isn't fitting quite right when it happens.

YarnThrower said...

Those are really cute shoes, and as a conservative dresser, I can appreciate the lack of toe cleavage, though to be honest, I haven't really given it much thought. When I want my toes to show, I wear sandals! :-)

Michelle at Boulderneigh said...

Thanks for the laughs! Although I could use a little less temptation in the spinning department, since I have absolutely NO time right now for that beloved activity.... Can you say "hubby leaving for a long weekend, 21 critters to take care of, homeschooling kindergarten tot, horse show on Friday, leaving myself for a week in Mexico next Tuesday"? Can I have your six weeks off?

justrightsocks said...

I have never laughed so hard when reading your comments on toe cleavage. Thank you