Kung Fu Hustle

So Bentley and I went for our walk this morning. It was just getting light and there was no one else around…just us and the 10 bazillion worms that crawled up in last night’s thunderstorms. There were so many that it was kinda horror movie-ish! Bleck! Anyway, we’re doing our thing in the early morning quiet. We get to the crosswalk in front of the elementary school. I make Ben sit. He does. All of a sudden a booming voice bellows, “Need some help crossing the street?”

Ben hits the deck like he’s been shot. Thanks, Fearless Protector! I instinctively strike a Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragonesque pose; ready to Billy-Blanks-Tae-Bo the perpetrator’s ass at the merest provocation. Actually I’ve only done Tae Bo a couple of times and possess absolutely no other martial arts skills. I’m hoping that any attempts I make to defend myself in this way will make my potential attacker double over in laughter and then I'll just run away. It’s obvious at this point that the big, scary, dog angle isn’t going to work in my favor.

Anyway, once I get my wits somewhat about me, I turn around and see an older gentleman who kinda looks like Santa standing in the cross walker’s closet by the sidewalk. I have no idea why he was there so early. Maybe he’s some kind of uber-dedicated crossing guard that actually lives there; just standing up in his little sentry booth waiting for someone….anyone to cross the street so he can protect them. Any time! Day or night!

I put my hackles down and Ben scraped his belly off the sidewalk. I told the man that I was just training the dog to sit before crossing the street and he looking disappointed but said, 'OK' and went back into his booth. I’m glad I didn’t just instinctively try to take out the Santa Crossing Guard. It would have been a bummer of a way to start a perfectly good Thursday!

In the spirit of my new found streak of rarely finishing anything I start, I started yet another new pair of socks last night.Yes, I realize I am a prime candidate for some kind of intervention. No, the Pembrookshire ones aren’t finished. They require too much concentration at this point. Big Bentlies take a lot of getting used to. So I’m just making plain ribbed ones with a skein of red, white and blue Fair Isle stuff I had in my stash. I’ll remember to put the name of it in a future entry because I hate it! It’s attached to itself all over the place with what looks like grey lint balls. Maybe the machine that made it into skeins was dirty, maybe the yarn pills. I don’t know. All I know is that I tried to pull it out from the middle last night and instead of one strand or a little wad coming out, almost the whole middle came out and it took me almost an hour to wind it back up because I had to physically tear these lint balls apart. It’s in a big skein like Trek but it’s not Trek. I’ll remember to put it in later. But whatever it is I’m never buying it again!

Later: The name of the wool is Steinbach Wolle Aktiv Effekt from Steinbach GmbH in Austria. The problem with the dirty lint balls that fuse the strands together has only gotten worse. Every time I try to pull from the skein, I get a wad I have to physically tear apart. Annoying!


YarnThrower said…
I totally relate to your inability to finish things right now...not that there's anything wrong with that.....
Elizabeth said…
Molly Bee, you always give me a laugh!