One of the other blogs I read has a 'Bullet Point Wednesday' feature that I really like. Along about Wednesday, enough of the week has passed to begin to turn my brain to mush and there’s too much week left, leaving me tired and uninspired so bullet points seem the way to go. So, notes to myself in the matter of the recent warm, open-your-car-windows weather...
*Always close your car’s rapture roof when you park outside your building, even if you're just going to be out of the car for a few minutes. If you don’t, you will find the driver’s seat full of walnuts when you return... again.
*Sitting on walnuts isn’t as fun as you’d think it would be. It’s more of a ‘princess and the gigantic pea’ experience.
*When you find your seat full of walnuts, don’t blame ‘ the squirrels’. Blame Sheldon-the-crazy- and-possibly-rabid squirrel. You know he’s the culprit. That squirrel just ain't right in the head.
*Normal squirrels don't charge at people with a distinctive look of malcontent in their eyes.
*They don't do that little bull-pawing-at-the-ground-and-snorting thing either.
*Normal squirrels don't stare psychotically in your sliding glass door for 10 minutes at a time unmoving....especially when there is a dog 150 times it's size barking frantically and frothing at the mouth on the other side.
*A squirrel as God intended is not the size of a small dog.
*Sheldon is a freak of nature and not in a good way; more like in a ‘Stephen King Pet Cemetery ‘kind of way.
*No matter how much you love animals, you must not capture and and attempt to 'help' Sheldon.
*No, even with the best of intentions, you can’t 'cure' him
* Or make him into the 'squirrel he was always meant to be'.
*And you’ll probably get rabies if you try.
*So just take the advice about closing the rapture roof and leave it at that.