Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Heading To Shelter and Misjudging Sheldon

This week is Severe Weather Awareness Week. I’m a ‘Emergency Coordinator’ at work and we’ve been coached on what to do and where to herd the kids in the event of a tornado. I just found out that it’s not mandatory for employees to go to the shelter. But part of my job as an EC is to get everyone out of the area and to safety. I thought long and hard about this conundrum. Rather than risking MY safety, badgering the one kid that has to ‘Google one more thing’ before moseying to the shelter, I sent them an email today outlining where the shelter is, directions on how to get there and explaining that if they wanted to live, their best bet was just to follow my quickly retreating, shrieking, self to safety. Slowpokes will have only my vapor trails to use as a guide, if that. Duly warned they were!

I have to print my first retraction! I may have misjudged Sheldon. All the data isn’t in, but recent circumstantial evidence points to the following:
*Sheldon may indeed be Charlene
*Charlene may be ‘with squirrelettes’ thus negating my insensitive comment about her portliness.
*The psychotic staring, chattering and charging behavior may be a momma protecting her nest site. I’ve seen Moms on playgrounds everywhere use this same tactic when threatened.
Charlene may be staring in my patio door to scope out more comfortable accommodations for her impending brood.
*Or she might be getting telepathic parenting tips from Ben. He’s a very good dad to FooFoo Bunny and Flat Eddie. They may be ultra soggy but they are still intact and well loved. (I don’t think she knows about his ‘Mini Me’ that he’s carefully chewed the armpits out of for whatever reason.)

So there it is. I was hasty and judgmental. I own it. And I apologize!

3 comments:

Kathy Kathy Kathy said...

I suppose you could have been wrong to make discourteous remarks about Charldon, but I don't imagine shis remarks about you have been charitable. You are a tender heart.

dale-harriet said...

I agree....sounds like a ploy. And from your description of his/her malevolent behavior, I believe it within his capability to feign both femininity and maternity to gain your confidence. DO NOT drop your guard, Molly Bee. Remember the snarky little Canadian cousin.

Cimorine said...

E-mail is all well and good, but, um, what if they don't check their E-mails?