Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Wisdom Wednesday

Ben was gimping pretty bad again so I took him to the vet on Friday for x-rays etc. He didn’t use his left leg at all going down the steps to the garage. He didn’t want to jump up into the back seat. Once he did get in, he just lay there like a good boy…and that NEVER happens. He is always more spazzy than usual in the car. He's constantly begging to have the windows rolled down, be in the front seat or to drive. When we got to the vet, and he hobbled to the entrance. I opened the door and he ran across the lobby to get his treat. He bounced. He jumped. He knocked the vet over (when will she learn not to skooch down to say ‘Hi’ to him?). No sign of a limp. No indication of pain. Even when she did all of the poking and prodding, he gave her kisses. After we got home, he resumed his pitiful limping and making groaning noises.
Lesson: Taking my dog to the vet is exactly like taking my car to the garage when it’s making a weird noise. Some kind of miraculous healing phenomenon happens at the doorway of those mystical places! This same miracle reverses itself just as quickly upon reentry into my life.

I was down on State Street with friends at the antique car show last weekend. We were joking about the back seats on some of the cars being too small to make out in. And really, what’s the fun of having a cool car if….? We wandered down to a convertible that was an absolute boat. The back seat was roughly the size of my house! I hit my friend in the arm and said, “Now there’s a back seat you can make out in!(winkwinknudgenudge)” He didn’t laugh so I turned to look at him and discovered that it wasn’t my friend at all. It was a shocked looking gentleman I didn’t even know.
Lesson: Look before you leap…or at least before you make bawdy statements. You may be propositioning a total stranger, an arrestable offense in most states. At the very least, looking will prevent you from making inappropriate comments to someone you wouldn't normally even make eye contact with. YIKES!
[Aside: I swear, this crap only happens to me! Kinda like last week when I had a bunch of cake leftover from a lunch meeting I hosted. I was going up and down the halls asking folks in other meeting rooms if they’d like some. The results were positive until I got to the room across the hall. My cake offer was met with a resounding “NO” and angry stares. Turns out it was a Weight Watchers meeting. Heavy sigh…]

It was pretty crowded at the old knit shop the other night. A gentleman with a cup of coffee wandered over and asked if he could sit at my table since I had an empty chair and seating was scarce. I told him ‘Absolutely’. He seemed nice and we made small talk for a couple of minutes. He said he was from the East Coast and it was at this point that I made my fatal mistake. I asked him... what brought him to the Midwest? I know. Rookie mistake. I spent the next 3 and a half what-seemed-like decades listening to his ‘religious philosophy’, pitched in a manner artfully designed to entice me to come on down for a KoolAde tasting at their next club meeting.
Lesson: There is a fine line between being polite and being encouraging. I need to get my magnifying glass out and pinpoint that line exactly for the next time.

Terri Browne dropped me a note to let me know that William was playing with his cousins at his birthday party, fell down and got a knot on his head "bigger than the one he got at your house."
Lesson: Don't get cocky and start thinking that you're the best at something. Someone will always come along and one up you. (Lord if that boy doesn't grow up afraid of birthday parties it'll be a miracle!)

What did YOU learn this week?

4 comments:

MadCityMike said...

It is NEVER boring to read your posts! Personally, I find "your situations" quite hilarious........perhaps you should send your blog in for a "look see"? I definitely can see Ms. Molly Bee as a sitcom.

Lisa/knitnzu said...

#2 there is pretty hilarious! I had a boyfriend for a few weeks in the 10th grade w/ a classic mustang, and he was working on an old T bird w/ the half moon back seat. But, I was in the 10th grade and wouldn't put out, so he ditched me after a bit. You know what I thought about my neighbor who I saw driving around w/ him in that car... I saw her lifetimes later and we laughed and laughed about it... turns out she was just his friend. Oh, and for things like #3, talk about your naked festivals with knives and fresh produce, and how you'd do animal sacrifices but you're vegetarian.

Sara in WI said...

I wish that I could write as well as you. Your blog is right up there with the YH for a must read~~ Maybe we should develop a "help, get me out of this" sign for late-night knitting conversation!

Kathy Kathy Kathy said...

Another week and I haven't learned a ding-dang thing. You're carrying that burden for the both of us, and for some others, I suspect.