Saturday, March 28, 2009

HELLO! My Name is "Karma's B*tch!"

Friday was one of those stellar days when all the moons aligned. I garnered an unexpected $500 bonus. I got a two rebates in the mail to the tune of $55. I even pressed my luck and bought a scratch off lottery ticket, which I NEVER do, and won ANOTHER $50. Work was productive and went by quickly. The kids behaved. Traffic was good. I found out that MY TayTay (Taylor Hicks) has a new CD out. All was right in my world. I shoulda known. When things come that easily, you know you are in Karma's cross hairs for sure.

I woke up at 1:30 Sunday morning to the smell of dog poo. One of the three of us who live here this week (Ben and I aren't pointing any fingers, Grendel) got into the garbage and had tummy trouble. I cleaned it up , dumping it and the paper towels into the toilet, thus clogging it solid. I was amazed at how alert I was at 1:30 AM. Why I could creatively string cuss words together like a pro even at that early hour. I spent the rest of the night unclogging, scrubbing and running in and out with the poor guy. Don't worry, he's A-OK now. Karma just used him to make sure that my payback day got that little extra-special, early start.

I had lunch with friend D. to celebrate her birthday. Before I met up with her I went to Joann's to look for artificial sinew. I had a half an hour to get in, get the sinew, pay for it, get out of the store and get to lunch on time....Simple huh? (HONK)! WRONG! It took me right down to the very last nanosecond. And I would have been really screwed if the restaurant hadn't been directly across the street! I won't go into details, but most of you who've been to Joann's know that it's prime hunting ground for Karma. I was easy pickin's.

Lunch at a Vietnamese place went well and then we went to a pet store where I was allowed to cuddle a ferret for quite some time. I though that at last I had finally paid off my debt to the Cosmic Retribution Gods. I loves me a little critter to snog. I finally put him back in his pen, D. and I parted ways, and I got in the car to go home. In the crisp fresh air outside the pet store, I discovered that I had been liberally slathered with Eau De Ferret. P.U.! My Saturday Afternoon Knitting Group was going to love having ME in their midst!

Went home to get my stuff. I only had a few minutes if I was to make it on time. I unlocked the door and was immediately double teamed by two 80# sniff and lick monsters. They knocked me down and were on me in seconds, like...well...like dogs on a ferret actually. At least someone appreciated my new cologne. I got them calmed down and emptied out. I grabbed my stuff and went to knitting. I wasn't too late. Had a wonderful time with the girls as usual. Thought the worst had passed really. Until it was time to go home and I looked up to see it SNOWING! I've already packed away my shovel and Karma knows it. Foiled again.

So it's been a wild ride, and though I've been lulled into a false sense of security before, it seems like it's calmed down for real a bit now. Since supper time, no garbage has been eaten. No poo has shown up unexpectedly. Much to the pup's dismay, I have bathed away the essence of ferret and smell as fresh as a Moonlit Path. [ Bet the Saturday girls wish I had thought of that earlier! ]I closed the curtains so it's no longer snowing in my world. I have a cup of coconut chai tea and Dr. Who. Hopefully Karma and I are now settled up in full. I'm sorry Karma, I'll try to just have normal rather than 'ecstatically', happy days from now on so as to escape your detection. I'm guessing it was buying that scratch off that did it wasn't it? Note to self: Don't do it again. It's so NOT worth the $50!

8 comments:

Michelle at Boulderneigh said...

I GOT it! Send that $50 to me and Karma will follow its trail!

Cindy G said...

Well, your bad karma was sort of our good karma, because you always have the most interesting/hysterical stories for the knitting group.

All the same, hope you have a calm and peaceful day.

MadCityMike said...

As ever.....You have made MY life seem so dull! I "think" I am happy about that though. ;)
Best wishes for a calm, enjoyable week.

DPUTiger said...

What a day! Glad you emerged relatively unscathed! :-)

Lisa/knitnzu said...

Oy! Is this why we don't see pics of Grendel? Glad it was a funk that washed off easily enough.

dale-harriet said...

My Lovely Daughter would've warned you about ferret-snorgling. She thought they were cute too, until she had a roommate with two of 'em. If you want some colorful language, just say "ferret" in her hearing. (They dig up houseplants, too -- charming creatures.....but they do have cute faces). Wusht you'd asked me, by the way - I'm FILTHY with artificial sinew. Ridiculous Reenactors' Factoid for the day: the artificial sinew looks almost EXACTLY like the real thing -- close enough that even some of the {sniff} Thread-Counters use it.

Sus said...

Oh no! Hope you really enjoyed the good while it lasted and hope it evens out for you now!

Kathy Kathy Kathy said...

So it's YOUR fault it snowed this weekend.