Weird Science With Doug The Applications Scientist

If ya’ll have wondered where I've been, and felt a not-so-subtle shift in The Force this week, it’s because I have been in The Lab (echo, echo,echo). I’m a weird kinda cat, I am. I love all things science-y. Back in the day, I considered going to school and working at Jackson Labs in Bah Hahbah, doncha know. I watch the Discovery, TLC, National Geographic, History and Science channels voraciously. I love articles in the news about science discoveries. Love it! Love it! Love it! I’m very curious about the guts of things and how they work.

That said, I suck at math, have no concept of spacial relationships, very little inkling of abstract ideas, sport a wicked nervous tic and lack any kind of attention to detail. I’m more of an artsy-fartsy-big-picture kinda girl...with a wicked nervous tic. Those things, along with the fact that, due to my lack of patience, I am perfectly OK with quickly writing things off as 'happening by magic', makes me the world's worst candidate for any kind of futzy lab work. And yet, it’s been one of my goals to spend a little time in the lab, seeing how our products work so I’ll have a minutely better understanding of the chatter that goes on in the department all day long.

This week, the moons aligned, Doug The Applications Scientist drew the short straw, and I spent a couple of days ‘helping’ (Oh, my but is that word used loosely!) him in the lab. I LOVED it! Get this! I helped find bacteria in dirt! I know! Who knew right? Bacteria is dirty and dirt is bacteria-y. [Don’t steal that line! It’s mine. I’ll be publishing a paper soon!] Obviously Doug has reasons for doing this kind of thing that I can’t possibly fathom (see 'lack of attention to detail' in previous paragraph), but I got to help mix stuff up all mad scientist like, run PCR (just like on CSI, People!) and electrophoresis gels. We got to go in the darkroom and take pictures of things that mysteriously glowed. I got to wear nerdy goggles and purple rubber gloves! Wheeee!

I’m guessing with all of my stupid questions and observations, the ride wasn’t quite so much fun for Doug The Applications Scientist. I think I managed to take two one-hour experiments and turn them into 2 day-long events….Let’s just say I like to do my pipette calibrations vvvvveeeerrrryyyyy sssssllllooooowwwwwllllyyyy. But given the facts that I didn’t do any physical harm to myself (or more importantly, to Doug The Applications Scientist), the building didn’t have to be evacuated even once, and no mushroom clouds were reported over the greater Metropolitan area; he ought to be OK after a couple of martinis, a couple of weeks vacation and just a skooch of professional counseling. So THANKS, Doug The Applications Scientist! I had a great time, learned a lot and best of all, your extreme patience ensured that I didn't give a totally new meaning to the 'She Blinded Me With Science' song! You Rock!