An Open Letter To The People With 160# Tumors:
For the love of God, how did it get to be 'The 160# Tumor'? Couldn't it just as easily have been 'The One Pound Tumor'? Or 'The Five Pound Tumor'? Or even 'The Ten Pound Tumor'-if it was in a place where it wasn't easily detected? Look, I'm all for procrastination and all, but when the tumor starts to weight more than you, you may have pushed that envelope a little too far! Just sayin'....
Molly Bee, Who May Need Therapy After Watching The Documentary On Your Surgery
An Open Letter to The Sloppy Lobster Seafood Market:
My friends and I went to your deli at noon for lunch yesterday. I had been gearing up for a lobster roll all week. When we arrived, the sign on door claimed that you were open from 10:00 AM to 8:00 PM and yet the door was locked, the lights were off and no one was home. So we went to the restaurant next door where I had a toasted cheese sandwich. Although it was a fine toasted cheese sandwich (made with Gruyere and apple wood bacon on sourdough=YUM), a toasted cheese sandwich does not a lobster roll make. Just sayin'...
Molly Bee, Who, Frankly, Is Still A Little Bitter
An Open Letter To The Guy In The White Ford:
Dude, your truck seems to have inadvertently been released from the plant without it's blinker package. You may have missed the recall notice in your mail. Please return to your dealership and have it installed immediately. Some of us haven't finely honed our telepathic skills and so when you slam on your brakes, then speed left through three lanes of commuters and veer into oncoming traffic like that, we worry that you're going all Kamikaze-Jihad on us and are concerned for your safety and the safety of others. We worry. Some of us even said bad words and almost wet our pants. Just sayin'.
Molly Bee, Who Is Sending You The Dry Cleaning Bill Today
An Open Letter To The Readers Of This Blog:
Molly Bee has insomnia and has been ruminating all night long. Opinions here are strongly fueled by sleep deprivation and do not reflect the thoughts or feelings of other inhabitants of Chez Bee. Just sayin'...
Bentley, Who Is A Little Cranky About Being Awoken For Smooches All Night Long