Thursday, June 19, 2008

Pity Party

I know I should wait a few days and get some perspective on this whole thing, but instead I've decided to throw myself a pity party of epic proportions. And ya'll are invited, you lucky ducks! If you RSVP 'No Thanks', best click out now as the whining is about to commence!

[Hello (echo...echo...echo...)
Anyone still here? (Crickets chirping)
Oh, Hi Mum! Thanks for staying...]

Now I know that there are lots of pros as well as cons to this whole thing, but right now the cons won't bet their big butts out of the way so I can see the pros so I thought maybe a Pro/Con list is in order to clear things up for myself.

Cons
  1. It Sucks! It Sucks! It Really, Really Sucks! I thought I had prepared myself for being disabled. In reality, I never imagined it would be this difficult. It's such a helpless, hopeless, trapped feeling. Gimping all the way for the couch to the bathroom is an epic journey that has to be contemplated and worked up to. Yup! Major suckage. Check!
  2. It Hurts! It Hurts! It Really, Really Hurts! They gave me these weird nerve blocks before surgery and my foot didn't thaw for over 24 hours. I thought I had it made, until it DID wear off. Youch! The Vicodan takes care of the pain but knocks me on my butt and makes me exceedingly stupid (as anyone who had tried to communicate with me via phone in the last three days can attest). And then there's the matter of all of the other aches and pains from simply being immobile. Pain! Check!
  3. My Uvula! My Uvula! My Uvu, Uvu, Uvula! Apparently they did a heck of a job with the breathing tube during the surgery because that little hangy-downy thing in the back of my throat is easily 150 times its regular size. It hurts worse than the tendon and makes me feel like I am choking on something all the time. I am! My own bits!!!! Check!

Pros

  1. This is nothing if not an exercise in being grateful for all I have mobility-wise. I'm never going to begrudge not being able to park in a handicap parking space when this is said and done!
  2. It forces me to get off the life treadmill and just 'be'. I'm not really good at it, but now that I don't have a choice, I'll practice a little harder. It's OK to not be going 90mph all the time.
  3. It gives me a chance to realize how much I appreciate Mr. Bee. He's always in my court, but he has really stepped up and been running the whole show beautifully. I love you Mr. Bee1
  4. It shows you how many people care about you. Coworkers, family and friends have been so supportive; phone calls, emails, cards, flowers. I am overwhelmed!
  5. It makes you realize the joy in little things. I cannot explain the unmitigated joy that I felt when I washed my hair at the kitchen sink last night! God is in the littlest details!

Well, just writing down the pros has made me feel much better. See? It is the little things! Guess I'll summon up some gumption and journey to the sofa. I promise this is the last on line pity party I'll throw. My next entry will return you to your regularly scheduled inane programming!

7 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Aw, hun, it'll feel better soon. And it will all be worth it! Really. But you go ahead and feel sorry for yourself right now. You're entitled! You should have heard me whine after my carpal tunnel surgeries!

Feel better soon!

knitnzu said...

So I've been whining a bit about my back... and knowing that in perspective it is Nothing with a big N. Oh well. Look! You have more pros than cons! That's a plus. The cons surely do suck. I was on crutches for 6 weeks, and I went someplace (a consignment sale) and somebody actually KICKED THE CRUTCH out from under me! It made me grateful that I was on them for a relatively short time rather than forever. And dumbfounded me yet again at what morons some people can be. You do any homeopathic stuff? Arnica is a great after surgery (it's for trauma) and would also help w/ the uvula. They gave me the big O (two steps up from the V)...talk about being stupid. Geesh! I think it was tylenol and aleve that they recommended together, and that seemed to take the edge off enough that I could get off the narcotics. Ask your doc about it. And hey, if I was there, I'd give you some love and hugs and pats. And then I'd put the beer (or the needham or whatever) in the other room so you'd have to do some pt work to go get it! (not really) (but maybe)! Hope you feel better soon. And don't worry about those things you thought you'd 'DO' while you're laid up. Recovery is enough work all on its own!

Kitty Mommy said...

Oh woman! You are perfectly entitled to have a pity party. And be stoned. At least for the toes above nose part of the adventure. After that, we'll have to renegotiate.

Been thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way. I know you'll feel better before too long!

DPUTiger said...

Hang in there. It'll get better and you'll be back up to full speed before you know it. Meanwhile, try to take all the time. I'm glad Mr. Bee is taking good care of you. He's a keeper!

dale-harriet said...

OH, dearling! Part of it is after-effect of the meds (really!) and I can only imagine how hard it is on a go-go girl like yourself. (Not *that* kind of go-go, silly!) And you absolutely are entitled. I'm sending Jewish-Mother vibes your way too (it's not chicken soup, but it's not chopped liver, either). (Huh?) In the meantime, if you start to feel down again, say this three times with your fingers crossed: bzjuqzna, bzjuqzna, bzjuqzna! (That's my "I'm-not-a-robot" word) If that doesn't cheer you up, what will?

MadCityMike said...

Happy to hear that you are over and done with your surgery! THAT is the silver lining in this whole part of the plot.....the GOOD part, is that you made it through (evidently with flying colors and are now on the mend (even though it is painful).
Hopefully, each hour will be less painful and soon you will be enjoying the time home, regardless of your immobility. Get better FAST!!
Kudos to Mr. Bee!!!!

YarnThrower said...

So glad that you are on this side of the big "unknown" called surgery, and in recovery mode. I take the fact that you are back to posting to your blog as a good sign. Each day will get easier! Also, do what your therapists tell you :-) though I imagine you already are :-)