Anyone still here? (Crickets chirping)
Oh, Hi Mum! Thanks for staying...]
Now I know that there are lots of pros as well as cons to this whole thing, but right now the cons won't bet their big butts out of the way so I can see the pros so I thought maybe a Pro/Con list is in order to clear things up for myself.
- It Sucks! It Sucks! It Really, Really Sucks! I thought I had prepared myself for being disabled. In reality, I never imagined it would be this difficult. It's such a helpless, hopeless, trapped feeling. Gimping all the way for the couch to the bathroom is an epic journey that has to be contemplated and worked up to. Yup! Major suckage. Check!
- It Hurts! It Hurts! It Really, Really Hurts! They gave me these weird nerve blocks before surgery and my foot didn't thaw for over 24 hours. I thought I had it made, until it DID wear off. Youch! The Vicodan takes care of the pain but knocks me on my butt and makes me exceedingly stupid (as anyone who had tried to communicate with me via phone in the last three days can attest). And then there's the matter of all of the other aches and pains from simply being immobile. Pain! Check!
- My Uvula! My Uvula! My Uvu, Uvu, Uvula! Apparently they did a heck of a job with the breathing tube during the surgery because that little hangy-downy thing in the back of my throat is easily 150 times its regular size. It hurts worse than the tendon and makes me feel like I am choking on something all the time. I am! My own bits!!!! Check!
- This is nothing if not an exercise in being grateful for all I have mobility-wise. I'm never going to begrudge not being able to park in a handicap parking space when this is said and done!
- It forces me to get off the life treadmill and just 'be'. I'm not really good at it, but now that I don't have a choice, I'll practice a little harder. It's OK to not be going 90mph all the time.
- It gives me a chance to realize how much I appreciate Mr. Bee. He's always in my court, but he has really stepped up and been running the whole show beautifully. I love you Mr. Bee1
- It shows you how many people care about you. Coworkers, family and friends have been so supportive; phone calls, emails, cards, flowers. I am overwhelmed!
- It makes you realize the joy in little things. I cannot explain the unmitigated joy that I felt when I washed my hair at the kitchen sink last night! God is in the littlest details!
Well, just writing down the pros has made me feel much better. See? It is the little things! Guess I'll summon up some gumption and journey to the sofa. I promise this is the last on line pity party I'll throw. My next entry will return you to your regularly scheduled inane programming!