Knitting and Another Fabulously Funny Friend
I was working on a child's hat for the Sow's Ear Charity initiative. Sounded easy. Cast on 73 and knit (K1/P1) ribbing for 10.5 inches and then there are 7 decrease rows. Simple, yes? I was knitting on size 9 circs with Red Heart Acrylic [Which I used to love when that's all there was, and is infinitely the best choice for a sturdy, practically bullet-proof hat but now is icky because I have become a natural fiber yarn snob. But I digress].
I discovered that either the pattern, the needles, the yarn, or my tape measure (you know who my first suspect is, RH) is possessed by Satan. I knit and I knit and I knit and I knit (repeat this phrase about twenty-hundred more times) and when I measured and it would be only 1/2 inch bigger than the last time I measured it hours and hours ago! Other people crank this hat out in an evening. I can make an 8" ribbed sock leg on size two double points in one evening. I think my personal best for this dang hat is going to be 3.5 YEARS!
It's witchcraft I tell you! I worked on it all Monday at Charity Knit Night and when I got home afterward (4 hours), at the PT office (30 min) on Tuesday and for almost 4 hours last night and I finally got the ribbing done. Eight and a half hours for a hat?! And I still haven't done the decrease rows?! Me thinks not. Friend Jen turned me on to a straight stitch, top down pattern that she can crank out in about 15 nanoseconds. I think I go for that next time.
More Red Heart Madness
I also found 30 acrylic squares and yarn that I was planning on making an crocheted stained glass afghan out of many moons ago, but right in the middle of it I learned to knit and that was the end of that. I dug it out and donated the yarn to charity night. I kept the 30 squares and will put them together as a baby or lap quilt to donate. They really are the same size, the edges are just folded funny in the photo.
And last but certainly not least, as the title of this entry implies, I have another friend who really should have a blog of her own. She sent this to my at work this last week and I laughed out loud like a loon. Coworkers wondered what medication I was taking these days. (Oh, if they only knew the half of it!) I asked her if I could post part of the email and she gave me her blessing. So here goes...
The garden's pretty much on schedule, but I need to train the mosquitoes to harvest since they're preventing me from doing so. Actually they're not too bad if I go out during the hot part of the day, stay in the sun and hope for a breeze.
It's good training for the Garden Olympics . There's the "Weed Wave" event, where you quickly pull a handful of long, wavy weeds such as wild grasses and thrash them wildly in the air in the hopes of connecting with as many mosquitoes as possible. The "Slap and Dash" game has a self-descriptive name and I've extended arm flexibility to the point where I can now reach that spot in the middle of my back that is normally impossible to hit. The "Row Run" is tricky, because you have to pick a long row of beans with only one hand WITHOUT breaking off the branches as the other hand is occupied with killing skeets. I don't have any problems with the drug testing since I go out chemical-free, although I almost flunked the citronella test when, in a forgetful moment, I applied lemon-scented deodorant. I'll definitely win the "Bumps and Hives" competition, when the judges count the number of bites received in a 10-minute period. My personal best is 17, well above the average. I thought I was doing well in my training when the neighbors stop what they're doing to stare at me, but knew I'd qualify when my Weed Wave technique had them calling 911 to have me fitted for a jacket where the arms tie behind the back....
Any fans of Friend Donna's work leave me a comment and I'll get it to her in the hopes I can get her to start a blog too!
Comments
Donna's a hoot. She expressed my experiences so well, but said it funnier than I could. Yea, egg her on to start a blog.