Has Anyone Got A Light? It's Kinda Dark In Here!
My brand, new car, Preston, has 780 miles on him. I know it flies in the face of convention to give a car a male name but y’all know me, I FLIES IN CONVENTION’S BIG OL’ FAT FACE ALLA TIME! Take THAT convention, I say! Ahem…anyway. Preston. 780 miles. Just a baby, really, and I’ve already crunched him. I am not a responsible car Mommie apparently. I had a fender bender in the gas station parking lot last Friday evening. Crap. Yet another thing that ain’t goin’ my way these days.
It wasn’t my fault and it didn’t do major damage but Geez Louise, will someone please get me out of this G***D*** whale! It smells really fishy in here, I have a shrimp allergy and Jonah's constant humming is really working on my last nerve.
Anyway, I go to the auto place today for an estimate. My insurance company set up the appointment for me. I check in with the receptionist. Pretty soon ‘the guy’ comes out with his clipboard of doom and gloom. I’m the only one in the miniscule ‘waiting area’. He looks right at me and says “Scott?” (We’re still on the same policy because it’s paid through January). So I say, ‘Well, yes, before the operation… It’s Molly Bee now. " Thankfully he caught on that it was a joke and started laughing because the estimate process included taking lots of photos of Preston and I can just imagine a few sneaky ones of me making the rounds in the garage after I left. “Yeah!!! Lady used to be a DUDE! No! Really! She told me! "
Preston’s owie will take 3 days to fix. I still don’t have the numbers yet, but it has to be significantly lower than the $2,033 estimate one of the BIG dealerships gave me. Especially since I suspect I could fix it myself with a rubber hammer and some rubbing compound, or WD40 and Duct Tape-whatever'll git ‘er done. Unfortunately it’s a dark gray car and what little light Jonah and I get from the whale’s blowhole is weak and intermittent at best. It’s really not conducive to doing my best work so I’ll leave it to ‘the guy’. Hmmm. I could probably still use the rubber hammer if someone would be so kind as to send one. It may solve my problem with the constant humming. Just sayin'. So please take a minute on September 10th, 11th and 12th and send healing thoughts Preston’s way as he goes to the car hospital for an owie-ectomy. I’m sure he’ll be much braver than all of those cars with girly names, but he can use all the help he can get.