Tapping Wee Doggie

Remember our new job as Wee Doggie's body guards against the Big Bad Coyote? Piece of cake compared to our latest task. We took Wee Doggie to the vet last Saturday and she thought he might benefit from some arthritis drugs. She gave us a few and we’ve been giving them to him. Giving being a relative term since he LOVES them and would willingly eat our fingers off to get at them. He woofles them down like they were treats. So she called today to see if we have noticed any improvement in either his wobbly gait or his overall grumpy mood. I told her that I think we have. He seems a little peppier (not that that would be a stretch, he was basically a door-stop before) and though still curmudgeony…he seems a little more ‘with it’. She was glad to hear it and then said that the meds could cause some kidney damage so we need to keep an eye on that. Then she said…get this….(hysterical laughter) she said (giggle, cough, wheeze)…in a normal tone of voice like she was in her right mind (sorry, please let me pull myself together)…she said, “Just bring in a first morning urine sample for a baseline.”

Being a female and having been through the frustrations of infertility etc. my first thought was, “How is MY first morning urine sample going to tell her anything?” Then I realized that she meant Wee Doggie’s urine! Yeah. Right. How does one go about doing that?!?!?! There’s only four inches clearance between the ground and his tummy and his ears aren’t the only thing that ‘hang low’ if you know what I mean. To add insult to injury, because of his bad hips he’s a leaner-forwarder instead of a leg-cocker-upper…Yeah, I know, those are very technical veterinary terms. I can wait while you Google them.

So far, my best Wylie-Coyote-esque plan involves the bottom third of a Styrofoam cup on a coat hanger wire. This ought to be good. I’ll try to hire Mr. Bee as my official photographer.