Monday, January 14, 2013

NyQuil, Assault Rifles and Common Sense

I just had to pitch the business end of a hissy in my local department store. Again.  That's twice in as many weeks. Today I went in to get dog food and saw that they have NyQuil and Musinex on sale so I picked them up as well. I've been flirting with a cold that's been coming and going for days.

(Aside) And this turns out to be important: I have a department store credit card (you could guess which one and you'd probably be right on target) that I charge everything to because I get a whopping 5% off, then pay it off at the end of each month. Most times, like today, when I go in the store, I only have the card, not my whole purse with me.

I get to the counter and the clerk says, "I'll need to see your ID for the NyQuil."*

As I am saying, "I don't have it with me...", and the clerk is beginning to look panicked,  a lot of thoughts run through my head:

1.  It's freakin' NyQuil for Gosh Sakes and only one bottle at that!  Not nearly enough to start my own meth lab or whatever those crazy kids are doing with it these days.

2. I  wish background checks were this thorough for gun purchases.

3. It's finorkin cold out there and I. am. not. going. clear. back. out. to. the. car. for. my. license!

She asks me if I have any form of ID. I say that I have my employee badge from work and pull it out.  It has a gorgeous picture of me, looking like I'm getting booked for a felony of some sort, and it has a bar code on it.

She says, "Oh. No D.O.B.?"

I say "No, but my birthday is 10/15/65."

The cashier looks confused so I add, "I'm 47."  I feel like flashing both hands four time and following up with a full hand and two more and saying "I'm this many"! I'm afraid that much finger flashing could set off someone's epilepsy though and I could be in hotter water than I am right now from trying to purchase cold medicine!

The blinking light of doom is engaged atop the register. The young man behind me gives the big sigh and rolls his eyes. You can tell he's trying to decide if he should jump ship or if it's going to be a quick deal to just give the old lady her cold medicine already!

The manager comes over and the cashier tells her the scoop. She looks right at me and says, "May I see your ID please?"   REALLY?  That's your solution?  We've already  thoroughly discussed that that's a long wait for a train don't come. When I re-tell her what the clerk just got done telling her, she stares at me for a moment and says: 'You don't have ANY form of ID". I pull out my Employee Badge again but to no avail. In fact, with my booking photo, it's probably a detriment.

Finally I say, "I have my Department Store card, which you wouldn't have given me unless the paperwork I filled out had my birthday on it and I showed was over 18."

The manager takes the card and looks it all over and says' "It doesn't say how old you are."

I point at my face and say, "No. THIS says how old I am." She takes one look and no more discussion. She rings it right through.

I don't know whether to be disappointed that my face no longer reflects an age that ABSOLUTELY DEMANDS an ID....or glad because common sense prevailed in the end for change. All I know is that if the cold comes back, I'm ready for it.

*1.  I'm fine if you keep the cold meds in the pharmacy and there is a sign on the store shelf that says you'll have to go there and get it and sign for it, but there was no indication of that. Had there  been I wouldn't have picked it up today, but on another day when I had my ID.

2.  I've signed for cold medicine before but never NyQuil!


Michelle said...

But you persevered and WON. Woot!

Lisa/knitnzu said...

yeah, common sense... where was it there? Glad you got your drugs!

Barb said...

Just goes to show that ya don't mess with a 47- year- old- about -to- get -a- cold-raised-in-Maine-lady. You attitude was wicked good!!!

This reminded me of the time that our little Geo Metro stalled in a busy intersection in Eau Claire. My mom and daughter were with me. I told them to sit tight and I got out of the car, dodging traffic because NO ONE would stop to push us out of danger, and dashed across a couple of streets to go to a tire place. I asked, with a great deal of desperation and urgency, if they could get one of their trucks to pull us out of the way of a potential accident. The guy said no, they couldn't. I was shocked. He said they didn't have the right equipment to help me. I looked around at all the muscular guys, the mega trucks and tow straps hanging on hooks and looked at the guy with "the look" and said, "You mean to tell me that you won't go out of your way to help me move a tiny little car that is currently holding my 80 year old mother and 4 year old daughter because you don't have the "right equipment"?!?!? We stared at each other for several moments and he said, "Jim, get the tow strap". I WON!

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