Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Molly Bee Mammoth Wrangler

Last week, I packed one of my kids off to a science conference in San Diego. While he was there, he messaged that he attended a fabulous talk about woolly mammoths. Being a huge natural-science geek, and lover of all things animal..including extinct ones, I immediately sent him a reply. Something polite and respectful I'm sure, to the effect that he should 'bring me a baby woolly mammoth or not come home at all'.  Actually that may have been the exact directive. Being a scientist, he was quick to explain that technology was not quite there yet.  Scientists aren't yet able to actually clone a mammoth and that I would have to be patient. Yeah. Right. Have you met me?

I responded that be that as it may, he should just bring home a little that would fit under the seat in front of him. Yes, that would be just fine. I mean, I'm nothing if not practical and thrifty.  No need to pay another bag fee for a non-existent-at-this-point-in-time mammoth for little old me. That said...I'm practical and thrifty, but not above a well placed threat to get what I I'm sure I added 'or else'.

Seeing that reasoning within the realm of  science was not going to be able to fully assuage me, he finally replied....'Yeah. OK I'll have one delivered on Monday.' See that's the real point of the exercise...the end game. Much like a toddler, I wear them down and get them to promise to do outlandish things just because it's obvious that I'm a couple of Krispy Kreme's short of a dozen when it comes to the realities of what science can actually do....or when it comes to the reality of all.

I thought it was over and that I had won the game when I got another message later that said not to forget that the mammoth would be delivered Monday. I played along and asked him which building it was being delivered to so I could have the Safety Department manager in the right location with a whip and a chair when it arrived. He gave me the corporate address and said that he was confident that it would be delivered to my desk from there.

I was perplexed. Do I believe him? Do I  make a Costco run for an extra large dog bed and one of those really ginormous tubs of peanut butter? 'Cause that's what they ate in prehistoric times, right? Peanut butter and Ho Hos.  At least that's what I would eat if I was a woolly mammoth. Although that may be why they went extinct. (Darn this scientific mind of mine!) Nah, Paraj is just trying to make me smile... and it worked.

Then Monday rolls around and he arrives at work, fresh from his conference in the wilds of Southern California and reminds me again that the mammoth would be delivered today. I laugh and reply that I would be waiting with a crowbar to unpack the crate, LOL!

I think that's the end of it when a box arrives Monday afternoon that says it's from THE AMAZON ! I can't remember ordering anything...especially from the deep jungles of the Amazon, but then again I can't remember what I had for lunch most days. I open the box and, true to his word, this strolled out!

This is actually just a little-baby-woolly-mammoth seedling. I have to feed and water it until it's full-size. I thought Paraj was fooling, and didn't go to Costco before it arrived, so that was a mad scramble after the fact! It also apparently requires frequent hugs (which is a little insider mammoth-owner tip that they don't tell you on the Nat Geo channel-you're welcome). So the moral of the story is this: be careful what you scare/blackmail your coworkers into obtaining for you. This mammoth is way more work that I thought it would be. It's constant neediness, not to mention the woolly hair on my clothes and and the peanut butter smears all over the office is almost more than I can bear. I hope the next kid goes to a conference about something a little more 'low-maintenance' like bog mummies or something.

All kidding aside. Thanks so much for making me smile Paraj! I love my new pet and he brightened my day and my office!

1 comment:

Michelle said...

LOVE your storytelling genius!!!

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