Really REALLY Big Bang Theory
My life is weird. I encounter a lot of strange situations. I kinda bring that on myself by not being able to keep my thoughts to myself-especially around people I don't know. I'll strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere over anything. I've met lots of interesting people that way and had a lot of fun, even though it occasionally does bite me in the bum. But usually even that amuses me so it's OK.
My job is weird. I tell people it's kind of like working with the characters from The Big Bang Theory more days than not. Even after 24 years here, each day usually holds some kind of special challenge to the point where, it becomes commonplace. The weird becomes the norm.
But yesterday was one of those outstandingly weird days that pop up from time to time where the bizarre and surreal just keeps getting more so and you start to wonder if you're still in bed dreaming this or if it's really happening.
[A little back story...] I took my car over to my car husband, Jeff, at Zimbrick's on Friday to put new tires on. I asked him how much he loved me and if he would do me a favor. I told him that I had learned a very important lesson on Thursday when I set a potted plant in the trunk of the car and then drove off, taking corners on two wheels apparently. What a mess. I told him I now knew not to do this and sweet-talked him into vacuuming out the trunk with the industrial vacuum for me.
Scene jump to Monday, when I put a huge philodendron in the backseat, carefully secured it and cautiously drove to work. Apparently the word 'secure' doesn't mean what I think it does. More potting soil all over the back seat. Since I told Jeff that I learned my lesson, me thinks I will have to clean up this mess myself!
So my Monday was was already off to a blazing start, when I decided to set up a new desktop fountain. I assembled it, filled it and crawled under my desk on my hands and knees to plug it in. I heard its delicate tinkling start, so I crab walked out from under my desk. As I was backing out, the sound of the surf was so real that I imagined that I could actually feel the ocean spray on my back! Turns out, the tide was in and surf was up! My beautiful seahorse fountain was trickling a small stream of water into it's base and jettisoning torrents of water all of my office. I was so shocked, I stood there with my mouth open a lot of extra seconds longer than someone who is actively turning her office like a swimming pool probably should. I finally got the thing unplugged and spent another 20 minutes mopping up.
Finally I decided to work on the corporate holiday cards that had been delivered on Friday. I took 80 pre-printed cards and put them under the back flap of the pre-addressed envelopes so that I could set them out on a desk and people could sign them. It was a pretty mechanical, monotonous job and before long, I found myself drifting and caught myself as I tried to put one card in the envelope instead of under the flap. Yep, that was the exact moment when I was the first one in the company to discover that the hundreds of cards that had been purchased were just a skosh too big to actually fit in the envelopes. I emailed the admin that was in charge or the project and asked her if anyone else has noticed. Hey I'm just the messenger. (Why oh why do I always have to be the messenger?!) She then went into emergency mode and went all over the company to collect the cards back and get them to the printer to re-size. (Although my day was 'off', I graciously concede that she is the one person that was having a worse day than I!)
As that crisis was dying down, I heard a ruckus back in the office area where the kids are. What fresh mayhem could this be? Turns out there was mouse under one of the girl's desk! The clock started ticking. I wandered all around, using my all purpose animal call* , and poking into every available hidey-hole, to try to find the critter, scoop him up in a coffee cup to take him outside to freedom as the rest of the office immediately started baiting traps with peanut butter. (The rest of the office won. At around 2 PM he was enjoying a sticky, nutty snack when he was transferred to that big corporate office building in the sky.)
Soon, I was off to a meeting in the building down the street where we used to reside. Some of the kids had forgotten to bring their desk trays...you know, the ones that hold paperclips and pens etc... so I swung by our old office space and picked up three of them. Did you know that even though they are identical, they won't stack or nest like you'd think they would? You have to put them one on top of another, on top of the laptop you're also caring in a kind of loose and wobbly tower. This is important to note because WHEN you stumble in the parking lot heading back to your car (and if you're me... you will), the top tray... specifically the sharp corner of the very top tray, is right at eye level. I couldn't believe I was going to have to write out a safety incident report because I poked my own eye out with a drawer organizer! I may have said a bad word because gosh it hurt and today I have a bit of a black eye but I covered it with makeup so I didn't have to explain THAT debacle. Now...exactly how did you poke your eye out with a desk organizer again, Molly Bee?!
I didn't even go straight back to the office. I stopped at the cafe half way in between, ordered a grilled cheese and attempted my crap together to face the afternoon. I talked to a toddler about the merits of PB&J versus grilled cheese and our mutual dislike of pickles. I calmed down and my eye stopped watering so I went back to the office. I am thrilled to report that I survived the afternoon with only the 'normal' incidents and accidents occurring and arrived home exhausted but further unscathed! Thank goodness days like this don't happen very often! I don't think I'd survive if they did. They do make you appreciate the 'normally weird' days thought!
(C'mere baby! Who's the bestest insert animal here? I think it's YOU! Yes it is! You're the bestest one!)
My job is weird. I tell people it's kind of like working with the characters from The Big Bang Theory more days than not. Even after 24 years here, each day usually holds some kind of special challenge to the point where, it becomes commonplace. The weird becomes the norm.
But yesterday was one of those outstandingly weird days that pop up from time to time where the bizarre and surreal just keeps getting more so and you start to wonder if you're still in bed dreaming this or if it's really happening.
[A little back story...] I took my car over to my car husband, Jeff, at Zimbrick's on Friday to put new tires on. I asked him how much he loved me and if he would do me a favor. I told him that I had learned a very important lesson on Thursday when I set a potted plant in the trunk of the car and then drove off, taking corners on two wheels apparently. What a mess. I told him I now knew not to do this and sweet-talked him into vacuuming out the trunk with the industrial vacuum for me.
Scene jump to Monday, when I put a huge philodendron in the backseat, carefully secured it and cautiously drove to work. Apparently the word 'secure' doesn't mean what I think it does. More potting soil all over the back seat. Since I told Jeff that I learned my lesson, me thinks I will have to clean up this mess myself!
So my Monday was was already off to a blazing start, when I decided to set up a new desktop fountain. I assembled it, filled it and crawled under my desk on my hands and knees to plug it in. I heard its delicate tinkling start, so I crab walked out from under my desk. As I was backing out, the sound of the surf was so real that I imagined that I could actually feel the ocean spray on my back! Turns out, the tide was in and surf was up! My beautiful seahorse fountain was trickling a small stream of water into it's base and jettisoning torrents of water all of my office. I was so shocked, I stood there with my mouth open a lot of extra seconds longer than someone who is actively turning her office like a swimming pool probably should. I finally got the thing unplugged and spent another 20 minutes mopping up.
Finally I decided to work on the corporate holiday cards that had been delivered on Friday. I took 80 pre-printed cards and put them under the back flap of the pre-addressed envelopes so that I could set them out on a desk and people could sign them. It was a pretty mechanical, monotonous job and before long, I found myself drifting and caught myself as I tried to put one card in the envelope instead of under the flap. Yep, that was the exact moment when I was the first one in the company to discover that the hundreds of cards that had been purchased were just a skosh too big to actually fit in the envelopes. I emailed the admin that was in charge or the project and asked her if anyone else has noticed. Hey I'm just the messenger. (Why oh why do I always have to be the messenger?!) She then went into emergency mode and went all over the company to collect the cards back and get them to the printer to re-size. (Although my day was 'off', I graciously concede that she is the one person that was having a worse day than I!)
As that crisis was dying down, I heard a ruckus back in the office area where the kids are. What fresh mayhem could this be? Turns out there was mouse under one of the girl's desk! The clock started ticking. I wandered all around, using my all purpose animal call* , and poking into every available hidey-hole, to try to find the critter, scoop him up in a coffee cup to take him outside to freedom as the rest of the office immediately started baiting traps with peanut butter. (The rest of the office won. At around 2 PM he was enjoying a sticky, nutty snack when he was transferred to that big corporate office building in the sky.)
Soon, I was off to a meeting in the building down the street where we used to reside. Some of the kids had forgotten to bring their desk trays...you know, the ones that hold paperclips and pens etc... so I swung by our old office space and picked up three of them. Did you know that even though they are identical, they won't stack or nest like you'd think they would? You have to put them one on top of another, on top of the laptop you're also caring in a kind of loose and wobbly tower. This is important to note because WHEN you stumble in the parking lot heading back to your car (and if you're me... you will), the top tray... specifically the sharp corner of the very top tray, is right at eye level. I couldn't believe I was going to have to write out a safety incident report because I poked my own eye out with a drawer organizer! I may have said a bad word because gosh it hurt and today I have a bit of a black eye but I covered it with makeup so I didn't have to explain THAT debacle. Now...exactly how did you poke your eye out with a desk organizer again, Molly Bee?!
I didn't even go straight back to the office. I stopped at the cafe half way in between, ordered a grilled cheese and attempted my crap together to face the afternoon. I talked to a toddler about the merits of PB&J versus grilled cheese and our mutual dislike of pickles. I calmed down and my eye stopped watering so I went back to the office. I am thrilled to report that I survived the afternoon with only the 'normal' incidents and accidents occurring and arrived home exhausted but further unscathed! Thank goodness days like this don't happen very often! I don't think I'd survive if they did. They do make you appreciate the 'normally weird' days thought!
(C'mere baby! Who's the bestest insert animal here? I think it's YOU! Yes it is! You're the bestest one!)
Comments
I do worry so.