One Starfish At A Time

When I was younger, I went to Lincolnville Beach, Maine with my family. We were wading in the shallows and I  found a group of starfish on the rocks. I held my left arm outstretched, palm up and lined several of them on the underside of my arm. I showed my folks, and examined them all closely before slowly tipping my arm thinking that they would all drop gently back into the sea-bloop, bloop, bloop. Imagine my surprise, and abject terror as it turns out, when they remained firmly  affixed to my arm. To put it mildly, I panicked and lost my sh!t briefly! I just knew that they were dissolving the flesh of my arm with some kind of slimy, sucker acid. I marveled that I felt absolutely no pain even though I was obviously the first person in all of time to be killed and eaten by a marauding gang of starfish! Someone has to be first...just my luck.

I flailed around until I finally got it under control and realized that it was easy to pick them up and gently lower them back down to the sand. Apparently it was just the bloop, bloop, bloop scenario to which they objected, which I guess I can understand. I would hold on tight should someone try to drop me from a great height as well. The underside of my arm was unscathed and I went on to pick up many other starfish over the years with the understanding that if I try to drop them, they will dissolve my arm. Hey, They weren't on there that long enough for that hypothesis to be completely disproven to my complete satisfaction.

I was thinking about this story the other day when I was reminded of the Starfish Parable. I am long enough in the tooth at this point where I've come to an understanding that I am not going to make a huge impact on this life. I'm not going to be famous. Very few people will know my name and fewer still will remember me when I'm gone. So I have decided that- particularly in light of the lack of empathy, responsibility, politeness, common sense and courtesy I see around me every day- it's my job to smile at people, lend a hand when I can, and make a human connection with folks I meet. I've done this to a limited extent all my life, but now is the time to step up my game.

I may be the only person that smiles and acknowledges them that day. Our world right now is so self absorbed, we don't even see people right in front of us. I may be the one that perks up their day with a compliment. Maybe I can ease someone's struggle a little by holding that door, taking their cart to the return, helping to carry something for them, or just letting them know that I see them. So many of us walk through life feeling invisible.

The Starfish Parable is one of my favorites and I think of it often. It goes like this:

One day, an old man was walking along a beach that was littered with thousands of starfish that had been washed ashore by the high tide. As he walked he came upon a young boy who was eagerly throwing the starfish back into the ocean, one by one.

Puzzled, the man looked at the boy and asked what he was doing. Without looking up from his task, the boy simply replied, “I’m saving these starfish, Sir”.

The old man chuckled aloud, “Son, there are thousands of starfish and only one of you. What difference can you make?”

The boy picked up a starfish, gently tossed it into the water and turning to the man, said, “I made a difference to that one!”

It's such a simple, little concept but seems it has gotten lost in the world today. Everyone is isolated , selfish and self absorbed. Simple social etiquette seems to have gone by the wayside. I hear a lot less 'pleases' and 'thank yous'. I see and hear a lot less of us all treating each other with kindness, consideration and basic humanity. Maybe THAT's why I'm here. Maybe I'm won't make a big splash and wow the whole world, but if I can make many small ripples every day and make a difference to a person or two, that would be A-OK with me. Maybe I'll start a movement! 

As an ironic aside, I've been such a fan of this parable since I first heard it, that a couple of years ago, I had a wee starfish tattooed  on the bottom side of my  left arm at the wrist. It doesn't come off...even if I tip my arm.