Wednesday, May 02, 2018

The Tale of Two Kiddies

Often when I am out and about, I am a magnet for old folks, odd folks, and small children. For whatever reason, they overlook the curmudgeonly, essence of pure evil that is 'me' and actively seek out conversation.  I don't know why...but I like it. I was at the grocer's recently when a young lad (just turned three according to his mother) who was in the seat of the cart ahead of mine in line said, "Can I tell you something?"

I always say 'yes' even though it's a crap shoot with the little ones as to what will be revealed. It's often something benignly obvious like, 'you have a purse', or embarrassingly obvious 'you have a boogie in your nose'.  Sometimes it's worse...'You're a doody head' is one of my all time favorites. But I steeled myself, said 'sure' and this little guy said, and I quote, "Did you know that tapirs are pachyderms, same as elephants?"

Huh? Thud! That was the sound of my jaw hitting the floor.  I'm not often speechless, but I was for at least thirty seconds. [I know. You should have been there. It was something to behold.] Here was a (just) 3 year old, with perfect diction, channeling the late Steve Irwin! I was wholly unprepared. I looked at his mum and she just shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes in a 'whatta-ya-gonna-do' way.  When I finally gained my wits, the three year old deep inside (but let's face it, she's not as deep down as I'd like to keep her most days) decided that she would not be bested by a 36 month old...especially in the animal department, and retorted "Yah, but did you know that a Possum is a marsupial like a kangaroo?"

He never paused, never missed a beat, never raised a tiny little eyebrow.  He just said, conversationally, "Yeah, 'cause they both carry their babies in their pockets." OMGosh! I had found my soul mate! We chatted non-stop about amazing animal facts and characteristics until his mother dragged him away to take her groceries to the car. It was surreal! Much to his mothers consternation, she ended up parked next to me in the lot and we chatted more when I came out and before she could get him buckled in his car seat and away from the crazy lady. That mum is doing something WAY right! I want to stake out the grocery store and talk to that wee one lots more!

Conversely, I was in a big box store after that and heard a tot (probably in the 4-5 year old range) running from aisle to aisle chanting something at the top of his lungs. His mum was in hot pursuit.  As he rounded the end cap and passed me, he looked right at me and yelled 'There's a skeeter on my peter, whack it off!" He continued to bellow it over and over, running gleefully, dodging in and around the shopping carts. I'm sure there was an older brother somewhere giggling over the new phrase he'd taught his younger sibling. The mum finally nabbed him down by the Froot Loops and it was only with much wrangling and a firmly placed hand over his mouth, that she got him to quiet down. I could still hear him mumbling it into her palm however. I think she was in for a long afternoon and big brother was in for a whoopin' later!

So, as I said, it's a crap shoot when interacting with the Pampers generation, but I must admit, while the first encounter was absolutely delightful, I was, not equally, but also amused by the wild child on the lam. I don't know what that says about me, and I'd rather not know, I guess. I'll just keep saying 'yes' when tots want to 'tell me something' and file this under 'A Tale of Two Kiddies'.


Michelle said...

You, curmudgeonly? Ha ha!

dale-harriet said...

Just think, in 15 years....14 years....they'll be voters. I can imagine what their choices would've been, had they voted in the last election.

Cooper and The Garden Guest

I discovered earlier this summer that finches aren't the only thing that like my thistle seeds. Even though there is a plethora of seeds...