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Showing posts from April, 2009

Danger Knitting !!!(echo...echo...echo...)

I have a class at The Sow’s Ear tonight- Portuguese Knitting. I purposely haven’t gone out on The Internets to check it out, although folks have told me that there are even ‘How To’ YouTube videos. I don’t want to arrive a class with any preconceived notions. The only thing I DO know is that the yarn is carried around the neck for tension, so in my world ,that carries a huge possibility of accidental strangulation. Given how impossibly thick I can be when being taught new techniques, there is an even bigger chance of on-purpose-strangulation-by-knitting-teacher. I know they train them to be calm in the face of stupidity, but I can easily push those limits. I think my sock teacher quit after trying to get me to understand Kitchener. I think she may still be rocking in a corner of a padded cell somewhere mumbling:

(rockrockrockrock) I told her ‘knit off , purl on, purl off, knit on'…it’s so simple…so very, very simple…The next thing I knew I was beating her over the head repeatedly w…

Wild Wooly Weekend

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Despite the crappy weather; so much rain that even the doggie was depressed :
I was a busy Bee all weekend. Saturday was the Midwest Alpaca Festivalat The Alliant Energy Center. I met up with Kitty Mommy and her three adorable kittens and snogged a ton of alpacas and shopped all morning. I was remiss in getting a picture of the kittens for some reason. They were the cutest critters there, which is saying something when you see these faces.

Faithful readers (Hi Mom!) will note that my life operates under the 'If it CAN happen, it WILL happen to Molly Bee' laws of the Universe. This was no exception when I was either snogged back, or viciously attacked by, a prima donna alpaca, aptly named 'Mr Hollywood'. I know that alpacas like to zoom into your face and scope you out by sniffing your breath. If you stay still, they usually pull right back. However, Mr. H. sniffed and huffed and bumped and nuzzled in his endearing alpaca way, thus lulling me into a false sense of secur…

Dancin' With The Camel What Brung Me

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Well, here it is, the camel confetti disaster. How did such an amazing batt become such a muddy, lumpy mess?

There’s an old saying about sticking with relationships…’Dance with the fella what brung ya to the dance’. I stuck with it. I danced and whirled and leapt and spun even though I could see it was headed toward disaster and someone would be crying when it was over. And in doing so, I learned. Oddly, I found the lessons surprisingly analogous to experiences I’ve had in interpersonal relationships in the last year. I learned that :

Look Before You Leap
Just because you CAN mix a whole bunch of fibers and glittery stuff into one batt, doesn’t mean you should. You should take pause and think it through before you just start blending.

Oil And Water Don’t Mix
Sometimes things that look good together on the surface just aren’t. If some of the fibers are slippery and some aren’t, things just aren’t going to go smoothly. It’s going to lump and bump along and end up as a reasonable facsimile of…

Heading To Shelter and Misjudging Sheldon

This week is Severe Weather Awareness Week. I’m a ‘Emergency Coordinator’ at work and we’ve been coached on what to do and where to herd the kids in the event of a tornado. I just found out that it’s not mandatory for employees to go to the shelter. But part of my job as an EC is to get everyone out of the area and to safety. I thought long and hard about this conundrum. Rather than risking MY safety, badgering the one kid that has to ‘Google one more thing’ before moseying to the shelter, I sent them an email today outlining where the shelter is, directions on how to get there and explaining that if they wanted to live, their best bet was just to follow my quickly retreating, shrieking, self to safety. Slowpokes will have only my vapor trails to use as a guide, if that. Duly warned they were!

I have to print my first retraction! I may have misjudged Sheldon. All the data isn’t in, but recent circumstantial evidence points to the following:
*Sheldon may indeed be Charlene
*Charlene may b…

Bullet Point Wednesday...On Common Courtesy and Politeness

*When rounding a corner in a hallway, it’s best to stick on the right side so you don’t smash into a person who may be rounding the corner from the opposite direction.
*This also work on stairways.
*And going through double doors.
*In the event that you are a directionally challenged moron and run into the person who has the ‘right of way’, it’s customary to apologize profusely, inquire about their well being , and help them pick up the stuff they dropped when you mowed them down.
*It is NOT the appropriate to stare at them with a sneer, like it was their fault, and walk off without a word.
*For the record, this makes you a super-duper, triple-quadruple moron.
*To the power of infinity
*For life.
* With no hope of redemption
*While we’re on the subject...
* You should also acknowledge someone whom you meet face-to-face in an empty hallway.
*Especially if they look you in the eye and say ‘hello’.
*And use your first name.
*When you don’t, it makes them think that they may have accidentally left the…

Awwwwww.....................

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I know! Right?!

Productive Weekend

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I am the Mac Daddy of that Power Drill, Y'all! Picture it, me in my safety goggles, standing on a wee step stool because I'm too short to drill at the kitchen counter and didn't want to accidentally drill a hole in my dining room table which is actually the proper height for drilling. My wood carving was perched on a pizza box that was on an air bake cookie sheet because I wasn't particularly keen on drilling a hole in the counter either. I carefully placed the bit and drilled. It took FOREVER to drill that first hole. Then I discovered that I had it in reverse. It was throwing enough saw dust to keep me interested and thinking it was doing it's thing. Once I discovered this and threw it into first gear...YEE HAW! I was disappointed when I ran out of holes to drill. Oh the power!!!!! Anybody need a hole in anything??? I'm available for hire!

And from the "This Just Goes To Show Ya" department. Remember how I described how my basket was going to look? R…

It's All About The Little Things

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I've been enamored with the pine needle basketry lately. I am totally addicted and can't seem to put it down. A lot of folks have asked me to teach them how and I tell them all the same thing. I don't know how. I just to it. It just happens. The needles seem to know where they want to go. My hands seem to know what to do. I watched a friend in Florida work on hers a bit and thought it looked interesting. Then I picked some needles off her lawn and brought them home. Once I got settled back in, I sat down with the needles and thread and just played until I got the hang of it. It seems very intuitive to me. I don't really have a plan when I start except what thread, beads, and stitches I want to try. Then I get started and the basket just 'tells' me what it wants to be. Does that make sense? Maybe I was a Native American basket weaver in another life, I dunno. I just know that sitting outside on a spring evening , coiling, is one of the great pleasures in life as…

Spring Weather Brings About Its Own Set Of Problems

One of the other blogs I read has a 'Bullet Point Wednesday' feature that I really like. Along about Wednesday, enough of the week has passed to begin to turn my brain to mush and there’s too much week left, leaving me tired and uninspired so bullet points seem the way to go. So, notes to myself in the matter of the recent warm, open-your-car-windows weather...

*Always close your car’s rapture roof when you park outside your building, even if you're just going to be out of the car for a few minutes. If you don’t, you will find the driver’s seat full of walnuts when you return... again.

*Sitting on walnuts isn’t as fun as you’d think it would be. It’s more of a ‘princess and the gigantic pea’ experience.

*When you find your seat full of walnuts, don’t blame ‘ the squirrels’. Blame Sheldon-the-crazy- and-possibly-rabid squirrel. You know he’s the culprit. That squirrel just ain't right in the head.*Normal squirrels don't charge at people with a distinctive look of m…

Happy Easter Weekend!

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We didn't have any plans for this weekend other than shampooing the rugs on Saturday morning. Thought we'd just hang out watching movies and walking the 'hood enjoying the spring weather. But as it usually goes, interesting tidbits popped up to spice things up a bit. Did get the carpet shampooed....YAY! That little chore concluded my spring cleaning! Yeah!! Nothing like a cozy, clean nest! (Except for the sliding glass door that was all drooley AS I was trying to wash it. Ben is sometimes not as helpful as he thinks he is. There was indeed copious amounts of doggie walking and fetching and running around like a nut (Ben, not me....well, Ben AND me actually since he's not the best fetcher sometimes). Then there was a pig ear picnic alfresco for the tired pup. It was a good weekend to be a doggie!

Friends called with an invitation to a campfire Saturday night. Sure! What time and what can we bring? There are few things I love better than a good wood fire. Reminds me of ca…

Two Sides To Every Story

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So I got to work on the Camel Confetti last night. For those of you keeping score at home, this is what it looked like when I brought it home.
I thought it was primarily blue with a purple swoosh in it. I also thought it was roving. I was wrong on both counts. Turns out it's a batt which is fine....just a surprise. And when I unrolled it, one whole side was :


and one whole side was :
The batt is soft and fluffy when you're handling it, but when the singles are spun up they are really fuzzy and itchy. This will definitely be an accent fiber and not something worn next to the skin. It's too bad because camel is typically very soft, but there is aso much of the shiny stuff and guard hairs in it, it has a texture problem. It's still beautiful.

At any rate, I'm really grooving on spinning again. It's very repetitive and lulling. Of course Ben prefers yoga and meditation:

I guess if you don't have opposable thumbs, you do whatcha gotta do..... http://mine.icanhasche…

Honing My Post Apocalyptic Skills

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Finished my second basket. The rim looks wonky in this photo because there are built in handles on either end.







See? (Be kind. I'm learning.)










Next in rotation is spinning. I'm going to get started on the confetti/camel rovingI got at A-Z Farm. Then after that's done, sweater knitting. So, to recap, I spin, I knit, I make baskets and I cook. Surely to goodness some post-apocalyptic clan will take me in after some ninny with a nuclear bomb gets trigger happy?



Apparently there's a guy across the street( who's 'out standing in his field'...Get it?!?!?!) who can make fire. Maybe I should befriend him? Now all we need is a hunter and a gardener and we'll be good to go.







I kept a close eye on the fire starter this time. A couple of weeks ago he nearly burned down the neighborhood across the way by insisting on burning a field when we had 40 mph winds. Seems he didn't learn his lesson since we have tremendous winds again today and he's out there flingin…

Quiet Weekend

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I spent time with a friend I hadn't seen in a while this weekend. We went to lunch Saturday (lobster-YUM!) and visited the afternoon away over mocha lattes on the East Side. It was a nice relaxing day and good to catch up.

On the way home, I surfed Goodwill and found lots of treasure. I got brand new pair of size 6 L.L. Bean ultra suedemocs, a brand newTalbot's jacket and several long sleeve t-shirts that I like. It always blows me away to find new merchandise for two or three bucks! The little Yankee girl in me smiles!

Friends I was expecting on Sunday bailed because of the weather. They overestimated the severity of our 'winter storm' this weeken, me thinks. What was supposed to be 5-7 inches of ice, sleet and then snow, fizzled out to a dusting and lots of melting. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, but the lack of visitors had me looking around for trouble to get into and that turned into cleaning out my clothes and that has thus far turned into an almost day lo…